Thursday, August 26, 2010

Deuces! It May Be Time To Stop Dating

Dating:: It's what you do before getting into an exclusive relationship with someone. It can be an enjoyable experience. After all, you get the opportunity to go new places and even meet new people. Some people even look at dating as practice, so when "the one" comes along, they'll know how to handle certain situations. This makes me thinks of one of my favorite quotes, "I don't date, I audition life partners." Regine, Living Single
But more importantly, you discover what you like and do not like in the opposite sex. Dating isn't always peaches and cream, but there should always be a lesson learned. There may come a time when you can't quite decide if you should keep seeing someone or just go ahead and chuck up the relationship as a loss. Well here are 5 situations that may leave you shooting someone the deuces...

Disclaimer: I'm am not, nor do I claim to be a relationship expert (not sure that sentence is grammatically correct). Just things I've experienced, observed or heard about

1. Does this person have time for you?

One must understand that the person you are dating had a life before you (hopefully), so that may mean that they have other obligations and they just can't drop what they've signed up for just because you've come into the picture. He may spend time with his daughter every Saturday and Sunday. She may teach a pilates class at 7 on Wednesday evenings, the one time you are free.

The thing is, there has to be a compromise. A time when you all actually see each other and not just talk over the phone. If you can't seem to ever meet up with this person, yet you see pictures of them out having a good time on Facebook, it may be time to evaluate the situation.

Now before you do that, get a clear understanding of this person and their schedule. You don't want to write someone off because you can't get your way and see them when you want to. If you truly feel you are being pushed to the back burner then it may be time to stop dating...if you all ever really started. Try to actually set a date by selecting a day, location, and time. See if they flake out at the last moment. If they do flake out repeatedly (or the first time depending on your tolerance level) deuces!

2. Does this person call or just text you?

It's simple: Are you getting to know this person through text messages like, "So where are you from?" and "How long was your longest relationship?" smh It is not difficult to call a person on the phone or go out and ask these questions face to face. Oh how technology has ruined actual dating.

Your first step should be to tell the person that you would prefer to get to know them better but not through a text message. It may not be their fault. The last person they talked to may have allowed or ever preferred this method. But if you don't, speak up and let them know. They should be understanding and willing to switch it up. But if you still just cannot get this person on the phone ever...or see them ever....deuces!

3. Are you all having sex?

Another simple one: If the only thing you all do is meet up at the house and have may not be dating. You're probably just fucking. If she doesn't care about your hobbies or what you do for a living...sorry dude, she just wants her dose of Vitamin D!

4. Have you met any of their friends?

Now, this one can be time sensitive and may not occur until further down the road. It's just a matter of preference. Some females don't bring men around some of their friends because they know how their girls will ask the guy 21 questions or try to sleep with their man. (yea those "friends" exist). Men may not bring girls around for the same reasons. If you feel you are their little secret and no one knows about you...ask! If they tell you they really don't want you to meet their friends (I've heard a story of this before) then deuces!

5. Are you all adding value to each others lives?

This is the most important thing you should think about when dating someone. What are they doing for you? What are you doing for them? Are they adding something to your life that you may have been lacking? When you envision the person you want to be with, what do you see? Two examples:

  • supportive- do they support or help you when you tell tell them about the things you are interested in learning or getting into?

  • goals- do they have reachable goals that are cohesive with yours?
Women, do you respect this man as the man? Does he have the qualities to be a good provider and leader? (if that's what you want) Men, is she the type you can bring around your family? Does she motivate you? If the answer to most of these questions is no...Deuces!

I want to add that I think it's fine to date...just to date but if you are really looking for something long term, you may want to look beyond the persons looks and wallet. Be happy with the person you are dating. And if you aren't...

1 comment:

Belinda said...

Well me myself, I don't want to date anymore, I find dating a waste of my time, bc alot of men are not into dating either, they say they are, but they're not, they want to play games like hit it and then hit someone else in the same week.. If you just want to fuck, why tell the woman you want to date, bc you don't, so to simplify the matter, I just don't date anymore, I meet, go out to places and have fun together, and then of course..............great sex or fuck, which ever you want to call it, and I realize this cannot work for everyone, but it works for me....I am tired of dating, going through the rigamaro of trying to get to know someone only to find out, the man don't want to date, he wants to date around....Do what makes you happy, I do......