Monday, August 16, 2010

A Man and His Pride

Jazmine hit the nail on the head with this song! So appropriate

Point blank period: A man will let his pride get in the way of a good woman! This topic has come up quite a bit recently from a few of my friends...and of course I've experienced it. And all of these pride issues seem to revolve around two issues:

Work and Money which pretty much go hand and hand

The Situation:

Meka had been dating Louis for about 5 months and everything was going great. They talked on the phone everyday and went out maybe once or twice a week. Sometimes they split the check, sometimes he would pay, or sometimes he would reluctantly let her pay. Well one day he neglected to call or text her all day. She texted him but his responses back were very short so she brushed it off, figuring he had a bad day.

A week later, after very little communication, he told her that he'd lost his job last week and that his car was now messed up as well. She told him it was cool and that she'd take him out to help him take his mind off things. She even offered to pick him up. His response was a flat out no.

Meka couldn't understand why this man didn't want her to treat him. It wasn't like they had just met. In fact she felt they were nearing the stages of an exclusive relationship. Eventually his phone calls stopped all together. She was hurt but since he wasn't offering an explanation, she had to move on.

About 2 months later he calls informing her that he got a new job and a new car. It seemed he was ready to jump things back off. But by this time Meka had met someone new. Louis trying to jump back in the picture just made things confusing. She had to really sit and think.

The Solution: Eventually Louis admitted that his pride had gotten in the way and he wanted to get things straight before he continued to see her.

I was talking to a good Twitter buddy of mine and I told him about guy I'm "dating" (whoo a different blog topic LOL) who doesn't have a job.

Me: "I know it can be frustrating to a man if he doesn't have a job so is it
belittling or would it make a man feel awkward or less of a man if I were to
update him on places that were hiring?"

Him: "Yes! It is a pride and ego
thing. it sounds better coming from another dude unless he specifically asks for
your input...crazy I know but that's it unfortunately"

Me: "Sigh. You
men are strange creatures. You'd figure y'all would want help instead of going
at it alone or being broke. Glad I asked though."

Him: "Yep...glad you
did as well"
I guess as women we are nurturing and protecting. A man and his pride will get in the way of that every time, especially when you fail to tell the woman the real issue at hand. A good woman wants to stand by you and will not judge you for what you do or do not have. She wants to help you come up.

But maybe as women, we have to step back and let a man do his thing. It's a tough line that some women may not know whether to cross.

What's a woman/man to do? This topic could go on and on. What have you experienced? Why do you think men act this way? Men what can we as women do when you are in a funk?


Arvonne said...

Good JOB!!!!

I can mos def relate to this topic... As you mentioned, as women our intentions are to help, no judging involved... Dont push me away during your bad times and pull me closer when good times roll around, it's just not right!

Anonymous said...

omg I'm livin this rite now. His pride is makin me not even like him anymoe. It's too much. Y do men do that? They say they want a woman who will be there when times are bad...but when the times comes they push us away!!!

Ericka said...

Maybe the only way you can be there for a man is if you are in an exclusive relationship with him. During the dating stages, it's just not going to work. IDK